Words are falling from your lips like
Christmas to my hips
So dangerous the strangest feeling of being...





...Lights from your heart lead me to you...

Once I was sure this was going to be an easy run. With you. I was sure I'd leave you in the d u s t. I'd date you for a few months. Have easy companionship, easy cuddling, easy...whatever else.


then you surprised me. you silently caught up with me. and passed me. and won.



I say I'm happier now. and I am. in some ways.


but I miss things about you I thought would be easy to live without.



I miss feeling like I was incredibly desirable. and comforting. and amusing. and sweet. and cute.




I don't feel unwanted. because I'm not.




but I miss the way you wanted me.
I miss the way you held me.
I miss the way you held me up when it was too hard for me to do it myself.




I've gotten into some weird stuff since you ended things.


I'd like to hope you're happy, but I don't really.



Let me get happy first, then you'll have your chance.





The least you can do is give me a headstart.

and we drive...


now that I have found someone,

I'm feeling more alone than I ever have before.

message to a(n) [ex] friend...


I boldly swung on the trapeze
but I came up short
not literally, of course
I'm sort of a giant
but when I wasn't looking
you moved it

you moved me [untinentionally] to

adoration
self deprecation
worshipful
cheerful
volunteer-ful

FATAL

slavery [of the cardiac kind].





swing.







reach.


fall.



[no safety net]







(never really)
fin.




-------------------------------------------------



Next time I drive to Austin
my heart will be still
I will not miss the 35W exit
and you will not be guiding me.



I will feel empty
and you will feel nothing.




and Austin will
shine
shimmer
sing
scream
intoxicate
keepmoving.






Austin will not notice the broken girl who took 35E just to feel lost on the outside, too.

Dear Heart,

You should::

listen to Brain.

He knows what's best for us. It's true. You feel you know what's right but you feel wrong. You feel wrong, you know? You just do. Why can't you catch up with the rest of us? We've been meaning to talk about that to you, but you're always beating and oozing and busy falling for the wrong people.

speaking of the wrong people.... Brain's been thinking about letting someone back in, but he's pretty sure you're going to screw it up. because you're just never ready on time. Seriously. could you just do something on time for once? could you just? do? what? you? should?

should you, though?

maybe you're right.

I never can tell.







which is why I sit here. writing letters my heart won't listen to.



love?


sincerely?




playitsafe.

--kacy

Permanecer sentados, por favor.

ohhhhh gwen stefani. the things you can do with a now expired genre.

So this is my first blog here since, oh, my [embarrassing] entries from my senior year. but I left them up for laughs. and poking fun. and burning at the stake PLEASEDON'TBURNMEATTHESTAKE.

Today when I got off work, I had two things placed on my to-do list: 1) get something to drink, 2) sleep, nangit.

So as I was on my way to accomplish item number one on my list, I decided to turn down the thermostat, which is on a small wall to the right of my kitchen. When I was finished turning it down, I pivoted [not far enough] to head into the kitchen and somehow (probably because I hate myself and want to cause myself pain) my right foot stayed behind and kicked the wall SO VERY HARD.

Thus item one on my list had to be postponed because I thought I was going to throw up and who drinks gatorade right before they throw up besides high school football players? No one, right?

So I had to skip to number two (not literally, of course, as my fourth toe on my right foot appeared to be broken) and read Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs for about 45 seconds then go to sleep.

Now I am awake and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. but I can't climb up there because of my toe, so I decided that blogging would do.

fin.

OK. I've had it with Dr. Pepper... I never really liked it all that much to start with. but.. yeah. What is UP with Imperial Sugar Dr. Pepper?

DISGUSTING. I mean, completely and totally revolting.

For holy crabs' sake, it tastes like GRAPES!!?! Why. why in the world would a soft drink called "Dr. Pepper" taste like grapes, imperial sugar or no imperial sugar?

That's it. I just thought I'd warn everyone before they thought it was safe to try it....